Once Upon A Skinny Mom

I'm a mom of two wonderful little boys, Logan, age four and Noah, a little over a year. Because of my naivety with healthy eating and exercise at the time of my first pregnancy, I acquired some embarrassing new things about my body I have insecurities with. Desperate to get to a figure I'm happy with (I've grown to accept I will never look the way I was and have decided I will not look back with regret anymore. Forward is my only option and the healthiest one.), I've remade this weight-loss blog to kick the fat and earn a body I never thought I'd be able to have.

I've decided a few things since becoming healthier.

1.) I'm not so worried about WEIGHT as I am about INCHES. When you're building lean muscle to tone your body, it's obvious that the scale is going to give you a shady answer at best. And, even though you're putting forth the hard work, you may feel discouraged by the numbers.

2.) I'm not going to COUNT my CALORIES. Sure, I'll read the label and try to keep the numbers as low as I can, but obsession is a limiting factor for me. I lose the drive to keep going if I make this more work than fun. This is my LIFESTYLE, not a diet. So, I am hoping by becoming happy and healthy, I will lose weight along the way. That's how it should be. People get a little too focused on the science, although, I still think this is commendable for those who have the patience.

3.) I am doing this the HEALTHY way. I'll be honest, I love the hell out of food. No doubt it's why I'm a little bit overweight. Lol. So, no, I'm not going to avoid it like a boyfriend I wish I could get back together with. It's not realistic to do so. You're going to have to eat at some point, I should think. And I want to be happy with food and the way it's nourishing my body. This isn't just about losing weight, it's about knowledge. I want to know what's going in and how it's effecting me. I want to know the best exercise tricks that are good for me personally.

4.) I am going to AVOID PRESERVED FOODS like the plague. Although I live in a world where the resources are dwindling a little more every day and the world seeks more and more ways to box, jar and can food, I want to try and work a little harder to get the better stuff. Preservatives lead to so many diseases and weaken your body in endless ways. If I want to be strong, clean and feel good in my skin, this is not what I want going into my body if I can help it. It's harder with kids, especially when my first son is three and has an idea how great boxed crap can taste. But I will manage and I will slowly edge my kids off these things, too.

STATS -

Name: Bryanna
Age: 24
D.O.B.: July 30th
Height: 5'2"
Smallest Weight: 112 lbs
Highest Weight: 178 lbs
Starting Weight: 147 lbs
Current Weight: 126 lbs
BMI Range: 101 - 136 lbs

GW#1: 132 lbs
- Reward: Nike Shirt and Nike Calf-Length Leggings

GW#2: 128 lbs
- Reward: High-Waisted Shorts from Urban Outfitters

GW#3: 122 lbs
- Reward: Gym Membership

GW#4: 118 lbs
- Reward: Nerdy Item

UGW: 115 lbs
-Reward: Pink Nintendo 3DS XL

BODY MEASUREMENTS (roughly) -

Bust: 36 in
Chest: 31 in
Waist: 31 in
Hips: 36 in
Thighs: 22 in
Calves: 13 in
Upper Arms: 11 in
Forearms: 9 in
Wrist: 6 in

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Can anyone recommend some good dance workouts? And I mean… REAL dancing. Not those people doing aerobics to a bouncy beat. I like Zumba. And I like Dance a Go Go. Those kind of dance workouts.

The hardest part of losing weight, is when you wonder if you’ll ever reach your mind’s fantasy. What I see when I workout, may not be what I look like when I lose the worst of it. As a mother of two babies, I’ve been scarred with more than stretch marks. I’ve gained some loose skin, as well.

I usually try to hide it or never bring it up in passing, but I feel like I can confess this to the strangers on Tumblr. Perhaps someone will be able to relate to my own personalized weight loss journey a little more than the average fit blog.

Anyway, the loose skin isn’t as horrible as the pictures I’ve seen on Google. In comparison, mine looks great. But… when I look at a typical woman’s stomach, I’ll never see my own there. I won’t have the same belly button, mine is stretched from keeping my naval ring in during the end of my pregnancy, which I regret horribly. My skin will never be so firm or smooth. All the ab workouts and the loss of fat percentage in the world will never make my stomach what it once was. Maybe it will even make my stomach look worse without the fat to stretch the skin into a tolerable look.

It’s made me consider surgery, but I’m scared. I’ve never had a surgical procedure before. And I want more kids eventually, although being a single mother with two kids and my insecurity over a used and abused body doesn’t make me confident that will ever happen. What if this is it? What if its not? I’m horrified of seeing a new man’s reaction to my body, the badges of a war only a woman can understand, the scars that he himself did not mark upon my flesh. What am I but trash that two men have already tossed aside?

I don’t usually reveal these insecurities. Lack of confidence is unattractive and helps nothing. What I’m trying to say is, its hard to stay hard pressed on a path when the outcome of all that hard work will never make my body what I want it to look like. Health is great and all, but I wish I could have a pretty stomach as a reward in the end…

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